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Men Living Up

Commit Your Eyes"

“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman. Job 31:1 (New Living Translation)

For men, the eyes are the gateway to a variety of challenges. With the eye we can allow things to soak into our souls. The eye is like a funnel which we use to carefully pour images and scenery into our imagination. Our brains then filter and direct these images into our special brain zones where we can catalogue and critique these images and use them at any moment.

It’s been said that our minds are like giant computer storage devices. Men can instantly access any image they’ve ever seen in milli-seconds, process it and transform it into part of our highly stimulated imagination. As a man, I understand this all too well. I can go back in time to my very first sexual experiences and recall with great detail everything that happened. I can recall where it occurred, what the weather was like, and what my surroundings were. How amazing, because I can’t remember most of the time what I had for lunch yesterday. The difference? I haven’t played these images of eating lunch yesterday over and over in my mind.

The highly charged images or experiences get played over and over and over and over in my mind. When I let my mind run free, these experiences become the fuel that power my fantasy experience. Only when I take charge of my thoughts, do I have any chance at controlling these images, experiences and temptations.

As a sex addict, I cannot count the number of times I used my brain’s immense storage capacity to pull up images and experiences to feed my desire to please myself. The act of masturbation critically reinforces this behavior. Neurochemicals shoot through the body. The heart rate increases and soon a trance-like state is entered where you lose all sense of time and place. Before you know it you have spent an hour indulging yourself. Orgasm is the final bond between the images and pleasure. This hour of indulgence trains you for a life of addiction. Images enter the eye, fantasy begins, the body adjusts to the craving of wanting the neurochemicals and pretty soon if the circumstances allow it, you find yourself engaged in activity you don’t want to do. Shame enters your heart and mind causing a depressed emotional low. Your body then craves something to balance your emotional state and then the cycle begins again. This can happen in a few moments or you may cycle in just a few days. As your body adjusts to the neurochemicals it takes more and more stimulation to achieve the same “high.”

You may begin acting out in other more risky behaviors. You may try more explicit pornography or acting out in other ways to stimulate yourself. All to get the “high” that you think will satisfy you and make you happy. After all you say to yourself, “I deserve it” or “If my wife would just...” After every espisode of going deeper, you feel shame and embarrasment. You say to yourself again, “That’s the last time,” yet you haven’t been able to stop. It all starts with the eyes.

By allowing your eyes to drink in that “hot-babe” you are setting yourself up for a physical reaction that you may not be able to control later. The thought of controlling the eyes may seem absolutely foreign to most men. Society surrounds men and women with provocative and seductive images. Is there anywhere you can go today and not be bombarded? Even in churches women unknowingly dress in ways that can trigger sinful thoughts in men’s minds. Watch any television channel and you can find a smorgasbord of sexual inuendo or activity. Have you wondered why it continues to get more provocative and risque? The cycle of addiction causes us to need more stimulation to get the same reaction. Hence, more skin and sex is headed our way in all media forms.

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